middle age caringhumor middle age and other mistakes
Younger Women, Older Men: Vice Versa and Versa Vice
by Marjorie Dorfman

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golf partyAccording to those in the "perhaps know", the idea of accomplished and desirable mature women choosing to connect with far younger males indicates how much the old marital model has already broken down. These relationships may flow from the fact that older women are not only more attractive than ever before, but also more available. It used to be that in previous generations the overwhelming majority of women over forty lived within lasting marriages (not necessarily happy, but lasting). Widowhood was the only exception to that rule. Today millions of aging females have been left unattached through divorce and other reasons. These women sometimes incline towards younger men with full knowledge (carnal and otherwise) that the connection may not lead to a permanent alliance. Some, who won’t reveal their names because they are far from innocent, insist that the sex is spectacular. So, who’s to say or judge or even care?

While most men will applaud the sudden, unprecedented abundance of sleek, sexy sisters in their 50s and 60s, there is still something uncomfortable about the fact that so many of these hot ladies select younger males for coupling and companionship. After all, they aren’t men, are they? But what about the men? Aye, there indeed is the rub, because it is more likely that their arrangements will work better than those of their female counterparts. Why, you ask? Good question. The brute force of biology is the answer, as that makes it much less likely that an older woman and a much younger man will produce, or prove willing to raise, children of their own. Larry King and Warren Beatty offer two prominent examples of charismatic older men who married women many decades younger, sired children with them and achieved genuine, well-advertised bliss.

hotel serviceFor the younger man, besides the concept of different strokes for different folks, what is the attraction to the older woman? There may be several reasons, one of which is that some younger men may be challenged by the mental stimulation, self-confidence and maturity that an older woman can offer, not to mention a clear picture of what she wants. Women their own age may seem immature, lazy and hard to please. Don’t forget too, that some younger men are more mature than they are given credit for and they can bring innocent fun back into an older woman’s life. But like everything else, there is a flip side. Some younger men may prey on an older female in the hopes of being "kept." Some use their bodies and their looks to get what they want. Unfortunately, the fact that the woman is older doesn’t mean she is automatically wiser.

To the younger woman, men of their own age have a very different set of priorities than men in their thirties and forties. "Seasoned" men are almost always more mature, despite the old axiom about the only difference between men and boys being the price of their toys. Truthfully, most twenty something men are still searching for who they are, what talents they possess and the type of women they desire They are experiencing many aspects of life for the first time. Physically, they are approaching their sexual prime and seek physical relationships more often. Sex, money, personal improvement, material possessions and status are their primary interests and motivational forces. Their "me" mentality has not yet matured into a "we" philosophy.

Older men are a whole different smoke, so to speak. They have learned physically, emotionally and intellectually what satisfies a woman and the younger beneficiary is often a very happy one indeed. More mature men cause less "agita" because they are responsible and usually have a life beyond their relationship with a woman. In general, women assume very different roles in the lives of their men depending on the age of the men they are dating.

attraction To answer Tina Turner’s eternal, million-dollar question, love has everything to do with it. Love has, however, got nothing at all to do with age, race, culture, religion or social class. Compatibility in relationships is the glue that withstands the test of time and sustains love. If you find someone you love, don’t discard the experience for fear of age differences. We only go around once and have to learn to grab our happiness when we can. Coo, coo, cachoo Mrs. Robinson, Mr. Robinson, your nephews, nieces, sons and fathers as well! Who can say what forces bring us all to one another? If you’re having a good time, should you really care?

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humor middle age
"Inside every older person is a younger person- wondering what the hell happened."
. . . Cora Harvey Armstrong

"No man is ever old enough to know better."
. . . Holbrook Jackson, Ladies Home Journal, 1950

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