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Snoring and Middle Age: Is There A Remedy Short of Homicide?
by Marjorie Dorfman

page 2


asleep on the jobWhat can be done about this? There are hundreds of possible solutions to the snoring problem, but not all remedies are for all people. One must become their own Ralph Nader, so to speak, and discover which is the best solution for them. American scientists claim they have developed a cheap, (thirty-five dollars) pain-free injection that will make people stop snoring forever. Snoreplasty, as it is called, involves injecting a chemical called tetradecyl sulphate into the fleshy soft palate at the back of the throat. The snoreplasty technique destroys some of the soft palate tissues and forms scar tissue, which stiffens the palate to reduce vibration. The procedure, which was developed at the Walter Reed Army Medical Center in Maryland, can reduce the loudness of snoring from eleven decibels to two. It is still new and controversial, and even though most patients tested have had no relapses, I would still wait until more testing reveals all there is to know about its repercussions. (You never know. You could wind up with other parts of your body snoring instead of your nose and mouth. Then what would you do?)
snoring on the (2nd?) job
Life style changes may afford a better solution to the problem. All the usual vices worsen snoring; alcohol, smoking, overeating, under exercising, caffeine. (I know. How will you live? Still one has to balance addictions with needs and wants.) If you wish to keep smoking, drinking and overeating, you might try sleeping on your back. Some say pillows and strap-on devices can help a great deal. Some claim to have had success with homeopathic remedies, available in health store and on the Internet.

Other remedies include throat sprays, nasal dilation, mouth breathing correction, mouthpiece devices and CPAP (Continuous Positive Airways Pressure). Throat sprays coat the soft tissues of the throat in lubricating oils, allowing the air to move more freely and lessening the noisy vibration. Techniques for nasal dilation include adhesive strips which hold open the airways of your nose, plastic devices to hold open your nostrils and sprays which reduce congestion or the swelling of nasal tissues. Many people would snore less if they would just learn to change the way they breathe; that is, learn to breathe through the nose. One must look into the products that will shut one’s mouth, possibly alleviating the level of town gossip in the process. Dentists can help here, by providing custom fitted devices which pull the lower jaw or tongue forward, thereby creating enough space in the throat to prevent breathing obstruction. Continuous Positive Airways Pressure is machinery, which blows air through your nose via a mask, preventing disruption of breathing and eliminating snoring.

Which is the best solution for me and thee? Only your hairdresser knows for sure. Check them all out carefully (when you are awake) and do research on each one. The Internet is a vast library of information and resources, limited only by the boundaries of one’s key search words. Get second, third and even fourth opinions before considering surgery. Don’t wait too long though. Hell hath no fury like the wrath of a non-snoring bed partner.



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humor middle age
"Inside every older person is a younger person- wondering what the hell happened."
. . . Cora Harvey Armstrong

"No man is ever old enough to know better."
. . . Holbrook Jackson, Ladies Home Journal, 1950


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